In this episode, we dive into Vows - the length, what to include, how crass is too crass, and we have a very passionate debate about whether you should use AI to write them for you!
Share this podcast (and the love!) with anyone planning, attending, or just dreaming of the perfect wedding.. we have loads of exciting topics in store for you!
How to Write the Perfect Wedding Vows (Without Overthinking It)
Writing your own wedding vows can feel overwhelming.
You want them to be meaningful — but not cheesy.
Personal — but not awkward.
Emotional — but not rambling.
If you’re searching for how to write wedding vows in Australia, this guide will give you a clear structure to follow so you’re not staring at a blank page wondering where to start.
The good news? Great vows aren’t about being poetic.
They’re about being sincere and structured.
Step 1: Understand What Wedding Vows Actually Are
At their core, wedding vows are promises.
Not a speech.
Not a comedy routine.
Not a life story.
They’re a public commitment to how you’ll show up in the marriage.
Keeping that purpose in mind simplifies everything.
Step 2: Follow a Simple Wedding Vow Structure
If you’re unsure what to say in your wedding vows, use this proven framework:
1️⃣ Start With Why You Love Them
Briefly mention:
Keep this section concise — 2–4 sentences is usually enough.
2️⃣ Acknowledge the Reality of Marriage
Great vows recognise that marriage includes:
This adds depth and maturity to your words.
3️⃣ Make Clear, Specific Promises
This is the heart of your vows.
Examples:
Specific promises feel grounded and powerful.
4️⃣ End With a Forward-Looking Statement
Finish with confidence:
Strong endings create emotional impact.
How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?
One of the most searched questions around vow writing is length.
Ideal wedding vow length:
Anything longer risks losing emotional focus.
Your celebrant can also guide you on pacing and ceremony flow. Experienced professionals — such as those couples often consult when booking vendors alongside jewellers like My Jewelry Shop — usually recommend rehearsing your vows out loud to ensure natural delivery.
Common Mistakes When Writing Wedding Vows
1. Trying to Be Too Funny
Light humour is great.
But forcing jokes can dilute the emotional weight of the moment.
2. Turning It Into a Long Story
Save detailed storytelling for speeches.
Vows are about commitment.
3. Overusing Clichés
Phrases like:
Aren’t wrong — but adding personal detail makes them meaningful.
4. Not Coordinating Length
It’s awkward when one person speaks for 45 seconds and the other for 5 minutes.
Agree roughly on tone and duration beforehand.
Should You Memorise Your Wedding Vows?
Most celebrants recommend:
Even if you practise thoroughly, having a backup copy reduces nerves.
Reading doesn’t reduce sincerity — it increases confidence.
How to Make Your Vows Feel Authentic
Ask yourself:
Avoid writing what you think sounds impressive.
Write what feels true.
Simple Wedding Vow Template
If you’re stuck, here’s a starting structure you can adapt:
Today, I stand here grateful for the life we’ve built and the person you are.
I admire your strength, your kindness, and the way you show up every day.
I know marriage won’t always be easy, but I promise to face it with you — not against you.
I promise to support your dreams, to listen when you need understanding, and to grow alongside you.
I choose you today, and I will continue choosing you every day for the rest of our lives.
Personalise it. Adjust tone. Make it yours.
FAQs: Writing Wedding Vows
How do you start wedding vows?
Start by expressing why you love your partner or what you value most about them. Keep it short and sincere.
How long should wedding vows be in Australia?
Most celebrants recommend 1–2 minutes per person, roughly 150–300 words.
Can wedding vows be funny?
Yes, but balance humour with sincerity. Light, natural humour works better than forced jokes.
Do you have to write your own vows?
No. Many couples use traditional vows. Writing your own is optional but adds personal meaning.
Final Thoughts: Keep It Real, Keep It Balanced
The perfect wedding vows aren’t perfect because they’re polished.
They’re powerful because they’re personal.
When you:
Your vows will land exactly how they’re meant to.
Take a breath. Write from the heart. Practise once or twice.
And remember — your partner already loves you. You’re just putting that commitment into words.